Gadling

Things You Never Knew Existed is selling a product we never knew existed: a remote-control talking Luggage Locator.

On the one hand, this is great, especially for people who have black bags that all look alike. You see one coming, press the button, and watch and listen ... is it lighting up? Did it repeat your pre-recorded message for 30 seconds continually? No? Then it's not yours. Keep waiting.

The Luggage Locator runs on three AAA batteries and two button batteries, has six flashing LED lights and can be heard from up to 45 feet away.

On the other hand, the obvious downside of this product: That audio clip is going to be really annoying, no matter what you record. People all around in a 45 foot radius will hear the sound of your voice (or your kid's voice, or whatever you decide to record) for 30 seconds on repeat. It's almost like you're forcing them to invade your privacy, which is kind of weird. Also, when they see who picks up the talking bag, that will stare at you, agog at the wonder of your outrageous dorkiness.

Still, there are uses for this that might make it worth it. For example, why not record "This is not your bag, you jerk!"? That way, if you see someone walking out with a bag and you think they've got yours, you can press it and freak them out. Another possibility: Record "Unload me first!" and press it while you're waiting at the carousel. If your bag is close by on the trolley, perhaps the airport employee unloading bags will oblige you. "Hey airport man, you sure are handsome," might also work. Unless it's a lady.

Frankly, there are a lot of uses for this thing outside of the airport, as well: messing with your cat, confusing your children, practical jokes on your spouse or significant other ... this may actually be totally worth the $14.98.

[via Switched]

Some people don't mind a little chat on the airplane, but what do you do when you're sitting next to the world's most effusive babbler and all you want is to read, work, sleep or jump out the window?

It's not your responsibility to act as your seatmate's captive audience, but ignoring people is mean and feels awful. Here are five ways to delicately end the conversation.

1. The Book Heisman. Rather than the traditional "stop talking hand," get your book between you and the talker. This works especially well when you have the window seat; pretend to lean against the airplane wall. Magazines can be even more effective, as they are larger. Once they notice the book is open, and between you, they should get the hint. If not, say "Sorry, I really have to finish this." Let them figure out why you need to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies on their own.

2. Offer them an activity. No, don't give them a book or puzzle; they'll ask you for help and talk to you about it the whole time. Just remind them of what they (hopefully) brought. Say: "What did you bring to read? Oh, I haven't read that book, can I see it?" This gets their book (or laptop, or whatever they have) out of their bag and into their lap. Digging out their own entertainment may have been what they were trying to procrastinate by talking.

Researchers in London have found that kissing on the cheek is far more hygienic than shaking hands. This may be good or bad news for you this holiday season, depending on how close you really want to get to your relatives.

"Debrett's warns people to observe proper etiquette by kissing others on the cheek instead of the lips and to avoid touching the person being kissed except on the shoulder or the upper arms," reports Yahoo.

If you're sick, you're likely to be sneezing, handling tissues, rubbing your eyes, and basically, a lot of germs end up on your hands. Then, if you shake hands with someone, your germs end up on their hands, and consequently in their eyes, on their silverware or even on their food. So, keep your hands to yourself.

If you're not feeling well, you should probably just stay home this year, lest family members hear you coughing and suddenly don't want to talk to you. If you're healthy and hamthrax-free, remember to wash your hands often and go for the cheek kissing to stay safe.

How European.

And speaking of Europe, if you're traveling internationally, check out Times Online's guide to how many cheek kisses are appropriate in various European countries.

[via Yahoo]

Two North Korean diplomats tried to claim diplomatic immunity when they were arrested in Stockholm for smuggling cigarettes.

The man and woman, who were caught driving their tobacco-filled car off a ferry from Helsinki, have been taken into police custody. Apparently, they have diplomatic status in Russia, but no accreditation in Sweden. Also, they allegedly had 230,000 Russian cigarettes.

"If you come to Sweden and commit a crime, you're just like any other foreign national," Sweden's Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Cecilia Julin told Reuters.

What on earth two North Korean diplomats need to smuggle Russian cigarettes from Finland to Sweden for, we have no idea.


[via Reuters]

The Japanese love their beaujolais nouveau so much, they're bathing in it.

At the Hakone Kowakien Yunessun Spa, a hot springs spa resort in Hakone, Japan, they've just celebrated the yearly uncorking of the new wine by pouring bottles and bottles of it into an open-air hot spring bath. The result is happy people in hot pink watered wine stinking of booze and loving it. Photo here.

Much like the way chocolate used all over the body in spas delivers endorphins without the calories, bathing in wine surely delivers antioxidants through absorption. It probably also gets you a little drunk, but just in case, they sip the wine while they're in there, too.

This is an annual tradition (this was the fourth of their little bacchanals), so wine lovers, make your reservations for next year.

[via AFP]

How far will a man drive without asking for directions? In this particular case, the answer was nine hours. Nine hours!

An 81-year-old Australian man named Eric Steward took a wrong turn in New South Wales country town Yass, reportedly on his way to buy a newspaper, and ended up on a major highway. He drove almost 400 miles before pulling off and asking the advice of a policeman at a petrol station.

"This little old man came up to me saying he was lost. He handed me his mobile and asked if I could speak to his wife," Victorian Police Senior Constable Clayton Smith told Reuters.

Steward claims that after taking the wrong turn, he just went with it: "I just went out on the road to have a drive, a nice peaceful drive."

Nine hours.

cough-cough-Typical.-cough

[via Reuters]

The Laptop Steering Wheel Desk has to be the most irresponsible, dangerous, stupidest invention I've seen in a long time. For just $24.95 plus shipping, you can take texting-while-driving to the next level.

Welcome to the most productive road trip ever! Just think, you could blog, work, Skype, play WOW, forward pictures of puppies and read the news -- all from the comfort of the highway. Imagine what you'd get done on the Trans-Canada.

Seriously now ... it's like these "Cyberguys!" who sell it have no heart. Or they couldn't see the forest for the trees. It does say: "For safety reasons, never use this product while driving." But ... yeah. Like that's gonna happen. And they knew it when they made it. Next time you see a typo in a coworker's e-mail, ask them if they were trying to make a left turn.

And now, onto the greatest thing about this product: The user reviews. They are completely hilarious. Good work America, we love you. Some highlights:

"I use it as a 'mini-bar' when the friends and I go out to the bars. I can quickly fix multiple shots of tequila for myself and the friends as we drive from one bar to the next. We also discovered that if you place a pillow on top of it and turn on the cruise control you can catch quick naps on the interstate." -- T. Meadows "TM"

"I loved my Laptop Steering Wheel Desk so much I got one for my 90yr old mother. She is an avid crossword puzzle fan and now she can work on them while she is driving back and forth from bingo at the senior center." -- S. Kelly

"This has been a total lifesaver. It allows me to prop my sheet music against the wheel, allowing me to play the guitar with both hands while driving." -- Brent A. Nelson

Jamie O'Shaughnessy had the following qualm:
"In several accidents that I have had whilst using this, the airbag causes the laptop screen to slam shut. I've suffered several broken fingers because of this. I have started to look around for airbag finger protection but have not yet found any..."

So, you know, get on that, Cyberguys!.

Many thanks to John Middleton for the tip.

The JiaYuan matchmaking service in China is hosting a modern-day Cinderella ball. And friends, it's a juicy one.

Basically, they're taking applications to fill 80 spaces: 40 men and 40 women. The men must be worth over $7 million, and the women, well ... "they will be stringently screened for their looks, physique and intellect, with marriage counselors on hand to judge whether they are 'kind, gentle and tasteful,'" organizer Cheng Yongsheng told the Xinhua news agency, according to Reuters.

Apparently, after last year's event (which includes a banquet, a ball, a five-star hotel and a cruise, all over the course of just two days), ten couples began dating and one couple has even gotten married. It's like a reality show without the cameras.

Over 7,000 women in China have reportedly applied. Seven thousand! If you're "kind, gentle and tasteful," maybe you should, too. But you're going to have to speak Chinese to navigate the website, and you're also going to have to admit to yourself that you're a gold-digger.


If you're into this, you should also check out Mike Barish's article on Air New Zealand's matchmaking flight.

Certain kinds of scenery soothe the soul, and for some, whether they're a cowboy or cowgirl at heart, or they just like to ride horses, or they long for that wide-open imagery so unique to America, watching old westerns over and over again doesn't really scratch the itch.

One company that specializes in touring cowboy-worthy destinations is Wild West Vacations & Travel. They lead tours through Montana, South Dakota, and Wyoming, and offer recreational and educational activities like trail rides, cookouts, gold panning, museums, state and national park tours and even candlelight caving.

They have four specific combo tours, specified as "get-aways" or "family vacations" (so couples looking for a rustic romantic western excursion don't have to worry about screaming kids getting up in their business), which range from $2,895 to $3,575 and include 8-10 nights of well-chosen accommodations and a smattering of the exciting activities above, plus a bunch more.

For those of you who are more "choose your own adventure," they can also arrange stays and amenities for you in South Dakota's Black Hills, Montana's glacier region, or Wyoming for Yellowstone or a Deluxe Dinosaur Dig Getaway.

Visit the website for more information.